Ticknor by Sheila Heti

Author:Sheila Heti
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: House of Anansi Press Inc.
Published: 2012-07-02T04:00:00+00:00

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THE BATH WATER WAS COLD when I pulled myself from the tub, dripping down. I looked about me for a towel, but all of the towels were gone. They were not hanging in the bathroom or lying on the floor. They were in the other room, which was filled up with smoke. I would have to go and dry myself in there, and the bath — a waste; the smoke sticking to my skin, stinking me up again. Exhausted and near tears, I went to the mirror. I often go to the mirror when crying, to see how I might look. I wonder whether I’d have any sympathy for a man such as myself. Sometimes I feel I would, and it makes me cry even harder; other times I do not and it fills me with despair — well, then I weep more pitifully than before. In these ways I find I am able to enjoy myself. The pure times I spend alone are rare.

All my life I have been on the lookout for the consolation in things. So long as one’s sensitiveness is to run from the rough impact of life, it is neither strenuousness nor austerity that one needs, but only consolation.

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